Theo Pratt (read on and then think about it for a second) has published a book titled JOHN SCALZI IS NOT A VERY POPULAR AUTHOR AND I MYSELF AM QUITE POPULAR.
It’s a response to Theodore Beale/aka Vox Day’s recently published book SJW’s ALWAYS LIE. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Beale was on the final ballot for the Hugo Awards for both editor categories. I should also mention that his most recent book – at least the first edition – had two chapter fives. And, although it might be a bit anticlimactic, I should also probably mention that Beale finished below No Award in both categories.
Anyway. Theo Pratt is actually Alexandra Erin and she’s no stranger to Puppygate (which, in case you’ve been under the third rock from the left since April is the subject of all of this), having written the outrageously hilarious Sad Puppy Book Reviews for several months (you can see them here for a bit more context, though the only reason you might need context is if your rock has sound-proofing).
The book – JSINAVPAAIMA – is now available as a Kindle read for $2.99 (I just bought my copy and have read a few pages but had to stop. Side cramps from laughter are not conducive to post writing.) I’ve already given it a five star review.
“But Wait!” as they say. There’s more!
John Scalzi has stepped up to the plate and has offered to do an audio recording of the book if $2500.00 can be raised by this Sunday, August 30th, for Con-or-Bust, the organization that helps fans of color attend conventions.
And even more!
Theo Pratt aka Alexandra Erin has graciously sent along an excerpt that we’re publishing below. But caution is in order. We strongly recommend that you are sitting in a secure location, that you not eat or drink anything while reading and that you read this while in the presence of someone you trust to hold on to the smelling salts. You just might laugh so much that your brain may be deprived of sufficient oxygen and you may need reviving!
You can purchase a copy of John Scalzi is Not A Very Popular Author and I Myself Am Quite Popular right here. And while you’re there, enjoy the irony of its placement (and don’t forget to read the comments!)
An Excerpt from John Scalzi is Not A Very Popular Author and I Myself Am Quite Popular
By Theo Pratt
(From Chapter 2: John Scalzi’s Blog Is Not That Interesting And No One Reads It)
A normal person—a person whose mind is not a perfidious cesspool of lies such as that of an SJW—does not go around believing things that are not true. Ask yourself, as you read this, which beliefs you hold in your head that are not true. None of them. This is because you are not an SJW.
To an SJW, though lies are both the air that they breathe and the bread and butter that they eat. An SJW is a specialized organism that lives in buttered bread, inhaling the substance around it and obtaining sustenance from it. The bread is lies and the butter is also more lies.
SJWs believe many things that are not simply untrue, but inane and impossible. The chief of these lies is that John Scalzi is a popular author whose blog—rather asininely entitled Whatever, in order to give the false impression that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it—is widely read. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I first noticed discrepancies in John Scalzi’s own self-aggrandizing descriptions of his web traffic when I noticed he had spoken out against me and my campaign for SFWA president.
Yes, it was in that infamous December of 2012 when John Scalzi happened to mention he had reached his 8 millionth visitor to his blog.
At first, I was confused, because I have had well over 16 million eyes pass over my blog’s contents, and since the John Scalzi has claimed to be a quite popular author it seemed impossible to me that he had so few people visiting his blog.
After all, is not writing attention-attracting diatribes on the internet and getting visitors to pass by your blog in order to gape at the spectacle you created the very essence of being a writer?
How could it be that a man who is supposedly a quite popular author of novels had failed to attract as many eyes to his blog posts as I, Theophilus Pratt, had attracted to mine?
So I began to dig deeper, and in the process, I discovered that not only is my blog more widely read, but he has exaggerated how many people are reading his blog.
For if what he claimed to be true was true, it would be necessary for many people to be interested in what he had to say. A cursory glance at the contents of his blog would be enough to satisfy anyone that there is nothing of interest to be found within it.
I would know this better than anyone else, having made it my business to glance cursorily over it on a regular basis in order to establish that it is as uninteresting as ever.
In fact, during a period where John Scalzi claimed a 650% increase in total page views, I was refreshing his page every three to five seconds just to see if he would post something interesting enough to justify the traffic levels he claimed. Doubting the evidence of my own eyes in the face of his relentless claims to being a famous and interesting person whose words people like to read, I directed my followers to his website in order that they might verify what I had seen and reported…